The good ol' days

Although I have very noticeable liberal tendencies, I'm pretty conservative when it comes to family and raising kids. That's why I enjoyed this article in the WSJ.

It basically talks about how some schools may be going too far with PC cornerstones like sexual harrassment. Bringing a gun to school is one thing, but getting severe punishments for what is childhood behavior while growing up and learning how to be social is something completely different.

This, of course, is specifically in the child realm, and I know many will say that kids these days grow up much faster and many times are forced to reach a level of maturity that wasn't common before. I concede that. But, lets face it, some stuff is just plain childishness and immaturity. And that's exactly what they are, immature children. Now, if a bully has a gang of kids and is extorting money from classmates, that's not childish. Unfortunately, often times these kids that are not the ones dissuaded from their actions. And it's the "good" kid who gets really tired of being picked on constantly who finally does something about it and is expelled or suspended. Too bad they couldn't have stopped the bully first.

Fun with sarcasm

Given the general audience for this forum, I think you will find "Jonathan Swift's" blog pretty entertaining.

http://jonswift.blogspot.com/

Think of it like The Colbert Report without the pesky limitations of a viewing audience.
Some of the most amusing things are the comments that people leave thinking that these are his actual opinions. You might have seen his name on Amazon.com, where he regularly posts book reviews that begin "I have not read this book...".

Fun stuff.

Things of little consequence

So, a couple of interesting-to-me things happened yesterday.

For the third time in the last two months, I showed up to a job interview with my pants zipper open. I'm not quite sure how that happens. I don't leave my regular pants zipper down, but for some reason, I have a propensity for leaving a suit's zipper down.

The first time this happened, I was in the interview waiting room at school with a dozen or so other people. There is nothing quite as humbling as having a very attractive, intelligent girl with whom you're having an engaging conversation point to your crotch and say, "Your fly's open" (as opposed to "You seem to be very qualified for the job"). The second time, I found out as I was leaving the interview. I didn't get a call back. While I have no proof, blaming the zipper for the ding is as comforting as anything else.

Yesterday was the third time, and I discovered it the exact moment that I sat down in front of a partner from a consulting firm downtown. He has just written a book, which we were talking about. I spent the rest of the interview making sure that my tie was positioned exactly over the open zipper. Super smooth.

The other interesting thing that happened yesterday is that I tried soyrizo. (Before continuing, I will indulge Jamie by acknowledging that soyrizo means "I am rizo".) Anyway, last night I made my famous "Papas con Chorizo". The wonderful thing about real chorizo is that it allows pork producers to use every last bit of a pig by grinding it all together, sliding it into a casing, and selling it at a premium because its "ethnic". The bad thing about chorizo is that it is prefab heart disease in tube form. So, we found "soyrizo" at some yuppy grocery store. It has very little fat, no cholesterol and (surprise) no meat. I'm not usually a fan of soy products, but I felt adventurous. On the five star rating system, I give it a silver. It wasn't as good as the real thing, but at least it didn't fall down attempting a double toe loop.

If you try soyrizo, there are a couple of things you should keep in mind: 1) It doesn't have as much flavor as chorizo, so you will have to compensate with spices or real chorizo. Secondly, you are not eating meat, so you will have to find other ways to get the six daily servings of red meat recommended by the extremely trustworthy and health conscious people at the American Beefeaters Association.

Possibly the best movie I've ever seen

Tonight I watched Hotel Rwanda. I know I'm way behind the times, so excuse me if you've already seen it. If you haven't, go to the video store immediately and rent immediately! It is not only one of the best movies I have ever seen, but it is intensely powerful and moving. It is difficult to wrap my head around the idea that it was real and I couldn't help but feel compelled to action. I was of course concerned about these issues before, but the movie shamed me for my privilege to live in a place free of civil war and for our government's continuing inaction in the face of genocide. Sorry to get serious, but I am sitting here watching scenes with commentary by Don Cheadle (who was amazing) and I am overwhelmed with emotion for these people who had to make choices and try to save the ones they loved in the face of impossible circumstances. There are no words to describe the emotions caused by thinking of these issues. We block out the terrible in the world so easily, but we do it to our peril. To the peril of our morality and to the peril of the world.

Oh What A Night

Jen, if you'd stayed with us on Friday night, you would have experienced a bar of epic sketchy proportions.

After we left the Ram (which is not, as everyone thinks, a gay bar) we headed down Milwaukee Avenue to try out some of the city of Wheeling's classy establishments. Wheeling is the town that gave us Mike "Goof" Lakhovsky, so we knew we'd find nothing but five-star venues.

The first place we stopped, Hang Outs, is identified by the giant smiley face painted on the outside wall. However, Hang Outs wanted us to pay $6 for the 'privilege' of hearing live music, so we took a pass.

Our next stop was the Dam Inn, which didn't look like a bar at first sight (it looked more like a 1950s post office with a Bud Light sign in the window.) When we stepped inside, we found what looked like a diner counter staffed with 85-year-old bartenders, three patrons all over the age of 60, and a lot of shelves covered with merchandise. Sort of a bar-meets-gift shop-meets-Grandma's house type of vibe.

No sooner had we gotten our beers than Grandma Bartender started pulling out "adult toys" to show us - a robotic parakeet programmed with filthy sayings, a tongue-shaped ladies' marital aid, a singing robot doll whose blouse fell off at strategic moments. I thought Katie Russell was going to burst into flames when Grandma made her hold the tongue.

The kicker came when Grandpa Bartender waddled over to tell us a joke. I still don't really follow the joke, but it had something to do with sausage and culminated with Grandpa dropping his pants right there in the bar. So there we were, surrounded by dirty toys, drinking $2 beers, with a pantsless 85-year-old staring us in the face.

I CHALLENGE you to find something sketchier.

Always follow the crowd

Everyone knows that I immediately cave in to peer pressure. The latest fashion fads, tech accessories, slang, religious beliefs, if it's in with the crowd, it's in with me.

Well, Pablo has put me on to the notion started over at Scobleizer. The idea is simple, create a new word, have bloggers post it on their blogs, and see how fast the rest of the internet (especially search engines) catches up.

What's the word? Brrreeeport. For my own amusement, I'm providing a definition.

brrreeeport: n. 1. an oral or written report whose primary characteristic is its brevity. CNN Headline News has many brrreeeports throughout the day.
2. any of several worldwide trade ports whose main export is cheese. Ester couldn't wait to dock at the brrreeeport because she'd been looking for a nice compliment to her riesling.

It's the little things

Yesterday, two unfortunate things happened in class.

First, I got a paper cut while passing around papers. It was actually a double paper cut. And it was right on my knuckle. That hurts.

Next, I sat by a heavy breather. I'm not saying that I sat next to a heavy breather or close to one. I was about five seats away, and I could hear him loud and clear for three hours. It was amazing. I couldn't understand how he couldn't hear himself with each breath. It was so loud that at times it sounded like he was doing it on purpose.

But, what can you do in that situation, "Excuse me, could you please stop breathing?" That really wouldn't work too well. Maybe I'm hypersensitive to it, but you really had to be there to experience the full effect. It was so loud that I would even break a personal rule and say that it was hella loud.

This blogger is conducting a test

I want to see if posting through email really works. To that end, I present
the following observation:

The names of geometric figures are nouns:
"I have a triangle. I add a rectangle. I use a circle." See? All nouns.

If you want to describe something with these geometric properties, you have
to convert the noun into an adjective:
"I make a rectangular table. I cut a circular hole."

Noun : Adjective :: Triangle : Triangular

BUT! What about a square?
"I made a square. I like square sandwiches."

The noun and the adjective are the same!
What kind of messed up language is this?

A Song for Thee on Thy Birthday

Happy Birthday to You.
Happy Birthday to You.
Happy Birthday Dear Beanie
Happy Birthday to You.

A little history for you about your birthday song.

Taxi!

Last weekend, we went to a bar downtown called "Howl at the Moon". It's a piano bar. What we didn't know was that "piano bar" is code for bar full of drunk 20 and 30 somethings reliving their frat/sorority formals. I have to admit that it was a good time. I was too sober to fully enjoy the atmosphere, but just sober enough to laugh my ass off at the 19-23 year old blonde robot clones jumping up and down in front of the stage.

The tight pants, the flirty, glittery tops, the BAR PURSE. It's hilarious. The only thing that is not funny is the yuppy girl bar purse. You know what I mean, one of these. Those things should be outlawed because they are dangerous. I don't know how many times I've been hit by one of those either on a dance floor, at the bar, standing having a drink with friends. Remember girls, having a bar purse is like having a tail, you have to watch your turns and spins.

Anyway, I told you that story to tell you this one: after Howl at the Moon, we took a cab home. One of the guys we were with tried to get us a "deal" with the cabby. Really, when you have six people all going to roughly the same place, it's going to be cheap.

Well, the ride was fine except that we almost went down a one way street. I'm glad I was in the front seat to tell the cabby not to go there. As I dozed in and out, I dreamt about how much I wished we were in the Cash Cab. The Cash Cab is awesome! I want them to come to Chicago. Of course, I would probably lose all my money by giving an answer like Paul Bunyan when the answer is really Paul Newman. My mobile shout outs would be Liz for anything literary/law-ry, the Beaner for any question that makes me roll my eyes, and Jamie for any question about travel, lexicology, or any question about any of our friends.

Don't let me down, and I'll cut you in. :-)


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This is very important

I saw a car yesterday with one of those yellow ribbons on the back. The ribbon said "support the magnetic ribbon industry".

Also, it seems that transit geeks and language geeks have finally gotten together. Jamie Sullivans everywhere rejoice.

Who woke up winter?

All of a sudden, it's winter again. The temperature outside our window right now is 26.8 degrees F. That sucks. And, because it snowed last night pretty good (compared to any snow we got in January) I know that I will have to deal with walking to school on icy sidewalks. This was never a big deal in undergrad. I think I always had my boots on. It turns out that it's really hard to walk on ice with even a slight incline while wearing dress shoes.

Any time I have an interview and it has snowed in the previous 4 days, I have to walk half way to school in the street because people don't shovel the snow, and it becomes ice when people walk on it. This is actually one thing I liked about Dearborn more than Evanston. In Dearborn, they made people shovel the snow under penalty of law ($50 ticket). Here, there are a lot of houses whose sidewalks don't get touched because they are not on the front of the house. Guess what, dimbwit, if you are a corner lot, your house has TWO sidewalks!

I won't go into how many times I've almost broken my neck trying to walk by these places.
How inconsiderate!

Caed Mille Failte

I went to Ireland this weekend.

Where are the pictures, you ask?

They're on my camera, which was stolen - brazenly - right off the table at the Guinness Brewery.

Otherwise, good times were had by all, by which I mean Michelle and myself. Weather was misty and cool - very Irish-like. We took a train out to the quasi-countryside, where thanks to a wrong turn, a brisk one-mile walk to a "scenic lighthouse" turned into a twelve-kilometer death march across some very rugged Irish terrain (at one point we were on the side of a cliff, about 200 feet above the Irish Sea.)

We also played around a little bit with the Irish language, which is extremely unattractive-sounding but fun to look at:

Eisitear an ticead seo faoi na fodlithe, rialachain agus coinniollacha ata sna foilseachain agus fograi a bhaineann leis an g Comhlacht Iarnrod Eireann no ata foilsithe aige.

That means - "this ticket is subject to the bylaws, regulations and conditions contained in the publications and notices of or applicable to Irish Railways Company." I just typed it off my train ticket. Eireann go bragh.

It's naming time again!

Time to go crazy with the names again (no pairs for this guy please):



He's ours as a foster-pup for a few days, and if all goes well, he will be the newest addition to the household.

time to move on

I walk to school the same way every day. There's a house on Simpson that has caught my eye. They have a tree in front with Christmas lights on it. In December, I thought it looked pretty cool. All the lights are white, and it actually looks nice.

However, the lights are still up. The owners have actually broken Jen's Cardinal Christmas Rule #1: Take down the Christmas lights by January 7th.

The other thing is that the lights on the tree are all in five strands. All of those five strands are plugged into a rusty outlet at the base of the tree. The outlet and the backs of all the strands have their plug faces pointing up and open. With all the rain/snow we had in January, every time I passed the house I wondered when the whole thing would short out. It's still there, I can see if from two blocks away when I walk home at night.

One of these days, something in that house will blow a fuse, either a circuit or a wife, and the lights will come down.

Poetic Pseudo-Justice

I have to share this story from one of my lectures from last week.
The class is TechVentures and the topic is "The Connected Home".
We have a guest speaker, a Kellogg alumn who's a product manager at Microsoft.

Microsoft is a major player in what will probably be the next generation of home entertainment. They are trying to get in on the ground floor to make sure that all the "multimedia appliances" you use in your house will run on Microsoft software.

Anyway, the guy is in Redmond, Washington. We are in Evanston. We need a teleconference. The first couple of options (i.e. video phones and teleconferencing equipment) didn't work out due to equipment difficulties.

So, we went to the next best thing, online chat!
Seeing as how this guy is from Microsoft, we tried to set up a video chat using MSN Messenger. It just flat out didn't work! The guy said that he had some problems with the Microsoft firewall (I didn't buy it). We then went to my old favorite, Skype. Guess what, Skype worked great! No firewall issues. Hmmm... I wonder why Skype didn't have any issuess??....

We had a 1.5 hour conference using a webcam set up on a tripod to try to get as many of the students as possible. The sound was flawless. The picture was not real time, but nothing is at this point.

I sat through the class with a wide smirk on my face because the MSN software failed at one of it's primary tasks and software developed by an independant firm worked great.

How sweet it is. I really should get some help.