The good ol' days
Although I have very noticeable liberal tendencies, I'm pretty conservative when it comes to family and raising kids. That's why I enjoyed this article in the WSJ.
It basically talks about how some schools may be going too far with PC cornerstones like sexual harrassment. Bringing a gun to school is one thing, but getting severe punishments for what is childhood behavior while growing up and learning how to be social is something completely different.
This, of course, is specifically in the child realm, and I know many will say that kids these days grow up much faster and many times are forced to reach a level of maturity that wasn't common before. I concede that. But, lets face it, some stuff is just plain childishness and immaturity. And that's exactly what they are, immature children. Now, if a bully has a gang of kids and is extorting money from classmates, that's not childish. Unfortunately, often times these kids that are not the ones dissuaded from their actions. And it's the "good" kid who gets really tired of being picked on constantly who finally does something about it and is expelled or suspended. Too bad they couldn't have stopped the bully first.
posted by Andrik @ 8:32 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I'm back from Italy to chime in with my two cents on this issue, which nobody asked for but I'm famous for giving anyhow.
In my humble opinion, rampant political correctness is just part of the problem with kids today ("these kids today!" he shouts, gesturing with his cane.)
A larger and scarier problem is parents. There are still tons of wonderful parents out there. But there's a growing segment who seem intent on protecting kids from everything. That includes socialization (hence the rampant political correctness), rejection (exemplified by the parent who called me last week asking why we didn't give her 22-year-old son a job offer), and accountability(the parents who will defend their children against anything, even when their children have clearly messed up.)
This last group is the most frightening to me. I have friends who are teachers, and they tell me that parents are their biggest adversaries - "how dare you give precious Madison a detention!" "how dare you give darling Chase a B+ when he deserves an A!" Too often, parents aren't providing the discipline kids need, and they aren't pushing their kids to rise above their own failures - especially when those failures are warranted.
I blame all of this on the decline of spanking, followed closely by the propagation of stupid designer names like Madison and Chase.
I wasn't going to go here, but now that I have Jamie's nerve all inflamed, I'll see your rant, and raise you dejection at the state of affairs.
While you blame parents, I blame the general American culture that says these actions are okay. Among the many bad aspects is the fact that we are a blame-based culture. And (surprise!) the blame is never for oneself. If your child is a spoiled brat because you've never taught it self-control or boundaries, don't blame the school when they give him detention for outbursts resulting from minor things.
The blame game is visible any time anything remotely bad happens. There is always someone to blame, and there are many more people ready and willing to tell you who it is (hint: it's not you and it's not the ones telling you). But, people in general are content to point fingers (without holding up a mirror) and sit back, assured that they are doing nothing wrong.
Sometimes its not the test, school, cab driver, job or government. Sometimes its you. And (just as important) sometimes no one is to blame. Some crappy things just happen and nothing can be done. Accept that it was unfortunate, and hope to avoid it in the future. This last point reminds me of the Veep's "in your face" hunting style (yeah, that's bad). Stop asking if he feels remorse of if he should have done something different. It was an accident, and sometimes blame's not appropriate.
Unless, of course, if some HR manager's company overlooks an obviously talented and qualified individual to interview other people who are not me.
P.S. Where's the dirt on Italy? Did you get lost walking to the Vatican?
I actually feel that I am the voice of expertise in this matter, given that I am one of those psychological counselors mentioned in the article. I'm the one who gets the crisis calls when something happens at school or when a parent messes up so bad that their kids become completely uncontrollable. And I can tell you that I absolutely agree with all you're saying. For example, one of my kids who was deemed to have "homicidal ideation" because she threw some chocolate milk on her younger brother during an argument over tv rights. she didn't even throw the cup. Or the five year old that the hospital decided to hospitalize today over our objections. He's a hyper five year old. Guess what, five year olds are often hyper. They're too young to have a great deal of self control if they're bored. But I can also say that there are kids who are uncontrollable, even by parents who work hard at it. Another five year old comes to mind who is a cross between the exorcist child and the cutest child you've ever seen. Mom has her problems, but this child's problems weren't caused by bad parenting. Sometimes, there's no one to blame but bad luck. The key is to hold children accountable, discipline appropriately (spanking doesn't actually work jamie, but other things do), and trust not only that your kids will mess up, but they will learn something from it if you help them.
you're just not spanking hard enough...
I almost forgot to mention this from a couple of weekends ago...
Admitted student weekend was Feb. 16-18th, for people who have been accepted but haven't decided if they should attend here. At the very beginning of our first event, there were several current students, and four admitted students. Exactly 50% of the admitted students in attendance were named Mitch.
When someone pointed this out to me, I thought of you, Jamie, and burst out laughing. No one else thought it was particularly funny. They are clearly missing out.
I heard a brief story on chicago public radio this morning about 10 8th grade kids who were suspended for 3 days each for having a food fight in the cafeteria during lunch. People get suspended for that crap!?
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