When bad travel happens to good people
1:30pm - Jamie leaves the John Hancock Center and hails a cab for O'Hare.
4:10pm - Scheduled departure time for Jamie's flight to Pittsburgh. Gate agent announces a 90-minute delay due to snow flurries in Chicago.
5:50pm - Flight 4179 finally departs for Pittsburgh. Jamie strikes up a conversation with his seatmate, a DJ and morning-show host for a Phoenix Top-40 radio station.
6:30pm - Somewhere over northern Ohio, the cabin pressure fails. Some of the oxygen masks drop down, but we're instructed not to use them. The cabin keeps alternating between freezing cold and uncomfortably hot, and Jamie's ears keep blowing out. The Top-40 DJ is white as a sheet and clutching her armrests. The plane makes a 180-degree turn and heads back to Chicago.
7:15pm - Flight 4179 lands back in Chicago, where passengers are told not to worry about the fire trucks waiting along the runway. Jamie is reaccommodated on a United flight leaving at 10pm.
8:00pm - Jamie, the Top-40 DJ, and a similarly-delayed software salesman from Youngstown, Ohio, bond over *entirely* too many beers in the Admirals Club, then switch to the Red Carpet Club when they run out of free drink vouchers.
9:50pm - United announces a 40-minute delay to Flight 760, bound for Pittsburgh. The plane finally leaves at about 10:35pm.
12:05am (Eastern time) - Flight 760 lands in Pittsburgh in heavy snow. The brakes makes a strange sound, prompting a sign of the cross from the Top-40 DJ. Naturally, nobody's luggage made the transfer.
12:30am - Avis announces that it has "no record" of Jamie's reservation for a rental car, and provides him with "the only car we have left," a Crown Victoria that reeks of smoke.
12:55am - The Crown Victoria is rear-ended by a Pittsburgh city bus as Jamie attempts to find his hotel. There's no damage, fortunately, but it's basically the last straw, and for the remainder of the drive Jamie screams obscenities and flecks the windshield with spittle.
1:30am - Jamie goes to bed, wondering if he'll ever see his luggage again and wondering what he ever did to the city of Pittsburgh to merit such a welcome.