Gripe of the Week
I don't claim that any of the following is reasoned out or based on any rational thoughts.
So, in class, several professors have warned us not to give in to the herd mentality that is pervasive at Kellogg. Their comments are directed toward job searches and class selections. But, it has become very clear that it applies to all parts of life here. I understand that a certain amount of peer pressure is going to be present in every group of people. It's natural. I'm fine with that. What I don't get is how all these people I see every day continually give in to the pressure and do things they have stated they don't want to do.
The prime example is tonight. Here's your background: I have closed the Keg more times in the last three weeks than I did all five years as an undergrad. There is almost a need for Kellogg students to go to Nevins, Bar Louie, and the Keg several nights a week. But, everyone that I have talked to about it says that they are tired of it. They're tired of going to the same crappy places with the same tired people and doing the same old things. They say that over and over again.
Tonight, there was an "Around the World Party" in the building above Panera Bread. The party was basically a progressive in different condos on one floor. The party opened up at 8 PM. People started arriving at 9:30. University Police kicked everyone out at 10:10. Earlier today, I sent an email to about 30 people offering to have them over after the party to hang out and enjoy a more low key night. About a dozen people replied that they would come over and that it was "a great idea".
Well, it didn't take long for everyone to start mooing outside the party building. I saw the momentum building early on. It only took a few key people to suggest that Nevins was a good idea. Everyone dutifully fell in line. All these people who were so eager to break out of the routine just gave up to the crowd. Jen and I came home. As we walked to the car, I told her that I thought the chances of anyone actually coming over were slim. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of those people (not just the ones who were coming here) are at the Keg right now.
The thing that really got me was not that they decided to forgo a stint at Casa Cardenas. I don't care and am actually a little relieved that I can relax a bit. What gets under my skin is that these are all people who are told day in and day out how special they are. They are the next generation of business leaders. They are intelligent, bright individualistic adults. Yet they give in to the crowd in a second. That's what gets me. Have some sense of personal identity. Have some control. Have a sense of what defines you. Right now, it seems that people can't get past the incredibly narrowly focused definition of "Kellogg student". I have to admit that I am disappointed.
It's 12:30 now. I expect to get a couple of phone calls in about 30-60 minutes about how people are going home and won't come over. My reaction will be the same for all these people, "Oh, really, well that's cool. We just hung out and relaxed. At least you had a good time. What's that? The same people? Yeah, the Keg does suck. I know what you mean. We should do something different. Yeah, I'll see you later."
Sheep.
posted by Andrik @ 12:34 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I've been wondering all day if anyone was going to comment on your rant, so here goes...
Did you really expect that business school would be full of inventive & creative people with a strong sense of self? Those are pretty high expectations, dude. Many of these folks have been told how great they are for so long that those accolades are now empty, but they will echo for years. Why work for what you have already achieved? [Ahh the jaded-ness of law school - my expectations of the majority of my peers are so low I have to dig.]
Perhaps the people you are looking for weren't at the "Around the World Party" to begin with. Perhaps they were in their apartment working on their next business plan, or even just sitting around relaxing with their friends, not giving a thought to the impending cattle call at Nevins.
Just a thought. Feel free to rip in. This blog has been too quiet this week.
I'd just view this as another episode in the shaking out of all the "instant friends" you make when you go off to school.
Undergrad was the same way - the first few weeks, you hang out with anyone and everyone, because everyone's so thrilled to be in a new place with so many smiling faces and fun things to do. Hell, even I felt like a social butterfly my first few weeks at NU.
A few months later (in my case anyhow) the dust settles and you focus in on 4-5 people who you think can really be good friends. The type of person who would come over to your apartment, rather than The Keg. (I still can't get over Kellogg's love for The Keg. I mean, it's The KEG. Come on, people.)
I won't take quite as hard a line as Liz - I haven't started a postgraduate education yet, so I still have some belief that people are inherently good. :) But I wouldn't let this get you down... basically, it'll help you figure out who those "good friends" are, and where to look for them.
Liz, I have to admit that I am not as jaded as you seem to be. But, I do realize that b-school, just like the Charter High school I attended and the #9 ranked university (at the time) I attended is a mix of people who really worked their way there, and people who have been told they must be there and see it as the next interstate ramp on their otherwise funfilled life highway.
I guess I thought that people were giving in because they felt that they didn't have other options. So, I tried to give them one, and they still gave in. That's where my dissapointment comes in. Most of the people we invited *really are* smart and creative.
Of the dozen or so who said they would come over, we saw about 8-10 of them at/after the party. We got the same line from each one: "I'm going to Nevins for one drink then I'm going to your place". That's when I knew we wouldn't see them that night.
At the end of the day, this is just one incident, and I don't want it to seem like I lost hope for my classmates or the people I am seriously considering for a possible slot on my "friends" list.
Jamie, I agree with what you said. I guess the first time that you realize that some people (no matter how good the intentions) just aren't going to make it with you in the long run is always a rough one. I remember when it happened to me freshman year and again senior year.
It's nice to know that the ones who do make are well worth the atrition.
I also feel duty bound to note that, of the 10 people who said they'd come over, it broke down like this:
1 who started to go to the bar, went home, called the people at the bar to walk her over when they finished their drink, and called me to stay she'd come over if someone could walk her because she lives far.
2 people who called and andrik convinced not to come over after all.
3 people who never actually told us for sure they were coming and were just tossing around the idea among others.
1 girl who told us up front that she'd only be over if she wasn't distracted by the boy she likes. she wound up with him all night, which was the right choice.
That only leaves three unaccounted for. Overall, not bad. Andrik's midnight rant aside, these are mostly actually fun people with whom we are pretty good friends. Just to play the other side for a minute.
"I reject your reality, and substitute my own."
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